I Can’t Make This Sh*t Up! 2.0

Here are some more crazy quotes from my life.

“Twerk it!” (A friend. Not directed at me. I don’t twerk)

“A: Do you have abs?

B: No.

A: I have abs!

B: Good for you.

Me: (hysterical laughter)” (a conversation between a friend and an acquaintance.  Don’t remember how this happened exactly.)

“That accent was Ozzy Osbourne visiting Scotland with a German Visa.” ( by a chorus director. The accent really kind of was.)

“If Jesus wasn’t the son of God and all that, he’d be a frickin’ babe!” (from a friend. No comment)

“Brittani, I can’t marry you because I’m pregnant with Jacob’s baby!” ( me, playing a game of ‘Curses’ with both Brittani and Jacob. You’ll get it if you’ve played the game. If you haven’t played the game, you really should.)

“And my mom gave me a belt- which was actually a good present because my old one smelled like fish and I don’t know why.” (a friend, telling me about his Christmas gifts)

“Hey, remember that time I blew up a potato?” (I never got the full story on this, unfortunately.)

If these quotes don’t make you laugh, then they’ll at least make you wonder about the mental stability of the people I hang out with.

Fun fact: Today is the two year anniversary of Ink And Paper! For that I’m putting this picture:


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