A Personal Pet Peeve: Cliches to Avoid

There is nothing that makes me gag more than reading a book riddled with cliches (that includes picking up dog poop, eating mushrooms, and going in a port-a-pottie that hasn’t been cleaned in the last decade).  Here are some of the worst:

My life flashed before my eyes. Really. Has there ever been a near-death incident where someone had seen their life flash before their eyes? I was in a car accident once, but all I was too busy being pissed off about missing my school play to even think about my life. Everyone I know who has been in terrifying situations like that have had similar thoughts that involves a lot of swearing. Or simply: aaaaahhhh! Who has the time to think about their life?

I am an evil villain with absolutely no emotion what-so-ever. But I want to control the world. (Bwa hahahaha!) I can guarantee that not even Hitler acted this way, and as far as I’m concerned, he’s the most evil person to walk this earth. If you do know a real person like this, let me know.

Oh no you didn’t! I dare you to say it with a straight face. Can you do it? That’s what I thought. Unless you’re character is joking, or three years old, don’t use this line.

Ditzy cheerleaders. I know, I know… they are smiley, can be catty, and very easy to make fun of. But they have to have a million choreographed cheers memorized, do crazy stunts without killing people, and keep from flashing people in their skirts. That takes some sort of talent. Not to mention it’s hard to be that smiley when it’s twenty degrees outside, you’re wearing a short skirt, and you have to dance for an entire football game. So give them a break.

Cliches just cheapen a story. It’s best to avoid them altogether.

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