World News:The Ultimate Grand Theft Auto

WASHINGTON D.C.- Yesterday a mysterious thief broke into the White House Military Office and stole the Presidential Motorcade. The motive behind the thief’s actions is unknown, as well as her identity. Witnesses have spotted the limousine racing down the highway, and everyone questioned within a three mile range could hear the song “Greased Lighting”. Detectives think the source of the music was the motorcade even though none of the witnesses could say which direction the music was coming from.  Mrs. Preston, an elderly lady living in Virginia stated: “It was as if the music was coming from the Earth itself. The ground and air was vibrating, almost as if we were going to have an earthquake!”

Police helicopters were able to tell that it was a very young woman, maybe even as young as sixteen, with long dark hair and a manic grin. The helicopters followed the thief all the way to the Gulf of Mexico, going at the speed of  a hundred and two miles per hour. But instead of stopping from lack of gas or to avoid running into the Gulf, the thief actually steps on it and drives the Presidential Motorcade into the Gulf of Mexico. It takes the officials a full hour to pull the car out-empty, with the woman nowhere to be seen. The identity of her will probably never be known and the reasoning and the methods of such an act will surely be the biggest mystery of this decade. -Linda Gannet

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